Buying gifts is hard enough, but add the pressure of a wedding into the mix, and it gets more challenging. If the couple has a registry, that’s a great place to start. “A registry is great because it’s literally a shopping list, so you know they’re going to love your gift,” says etiquette coach Myka Meier.
However, registries can be picked over by the time the wedding nears, and some people eschew them entirely. “Registries are suggestions, not obligations,” says etiquette consultant Jody RR Smith. “You can use the registry as a guide for the couple’s tastes and lifestyle.”
And so, sticking to the registry is not a hard and fast rule — think of it more so as a point of inspiration. “If you go off-registry, make sure to include a gift receipt where possible,” Meier says. “If the registry is almost completely bought out by the time you go to purchase a gift, you could get the couple a gift card at that store for anything else they’d like to add, or buy something else thoughtful.”
But how much do you have to spend anyway? “The gift amount can vary depending how well you know the couple and if your gift is just from you or from a couple or family, in which case you would likely spend a bit more,” Meier says. Looking for an actual benchmark? Emily Forrest, director of communications for wedding registry site Zola, told SPY that most guests spend around $100. With that in mind, look to these recommendations for inspiration.
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Champagne Flutes
Weddings are cause for celebration, and nothing says celebration like champagne. Get the couple a pair of nice champagne flutes like this classic Waterford set. They’ll last a lifetime, as long as no one drops them, and they’re a nice memento of a happy season of life.
Champagne Bucket
A champagne bucket sticks to the theme of celebration. This one can be personalized, too, for an extra touch. Plus, when they’re not being used to keep bubbly chilled, champagne buckets can double as planters for a centerpiece.
Williams Sonoma Gift Card
Gift cards get a bad rap. Sure, they’re not exactly personal, but they allow the recipient to get whatever the hell they want. There are some occasions that call for them, too. Maybe you don’t know the couple all that well, or maybe the registry is picked over. A gift card — whether it’s to Williams-Sonoma for kitchen essentials or, you know, a Provencal rooster pitcher — is a good bet.
A Cash Gift
It’s that simple: some people just want money! And that makes it easy on you. “Monetary gifts are just as appropriate as a tangible gift,” Forrest says. “It really just depends on the couple. On Zola, we have the option for couples to add cash funds to their registry so guests have the opportunity to put a monetary value towards a specific gift on the couple’s registry. When you’re attending the wedding, a personalized card with money is also a nice option.”
As for how much you give, Smith says you can get creative. “When giving monetary amounts, it’s festive to choose meaningful or lucky numbers,” she says. “For example, for this year, instead of giving $200.00 as a gift, give $202.30 for 2023.”
Decanter
This Riedel decanter is spendier, but it is beautiful. For a close friend who’s an oenophile, this is the gift to get. Want to take it a step further? Pair it with a bottle of wine from the year the couple met.
Parachute Home Robes
Parachute Home’s robes are consistently rated as some of the best around, and nothing says “we’re married!” like owning a set as a couple. Better yet, take them to a local tailor and get them personalized with the couple’s initials (are you sensing a theme?).
Le Creuset Dutch Oven
Want to get the couple something that will stand the test of time? Enter Le Creuset’s dutch oven. These enamel pans are heavy, durable, and will last years and years.
Luggage Tags
Luggage tags aren’t exactly a registry must-have, but they can be a sleeper hit of a gift, particularly if one or both members of the couple are changing their last names. Meier suggested a matching set of luggage tags for them to take on their honeymoon. It’s thoughtful, unique, and shows you were thinking ahead.
Coming Soon NY Glassware
Not every couple wants the traditional, run-of-the-mill glassware. For them, look to Coming Soon NY, which offers unique housewares and other objects. These gradient glasses are beautiful and one-of-a-kind — a good fit for a couple that doesn’t fit into a predictable box.
Frette Percale Cotton Sheets
With this gift, we’re swinging back to a more traditional direction. But that’s not a bad thing. A fresh set of sheets is perfect for the fresh start that is a new marriage. Frette’s sheets are some of the best around, and their percale cotton feels like real cotton — it doesn’t have the silky feel of regular sateen.
Super-Plush Brooklinen Towels
Just because you’re giving a traditional gift — like towels, which are a wedding registry staple — doesn’t mean you have to go with a traditional aesthetic. Brooklinen makes quality linens, and the brand’s Super-Plush towels are no exception. This set comes in several different prints and colorways in case the two getting married aren’t exactly pristine white towel types.
Custom Place Painting
Where did the couple meet? Is there a place that you know is significant to their relationship? Consider giving them a custom painting of a place that’s meaningful to them. This is certainly not something that would appear on their registry, but it’s thoughtful and special.